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Why Won't E Jean Carroll Just Go Away?

E Jean Carroll is back in the news cycle because Donald Trump won't stop perjuring himself.


Now, of course, that's the short answer to the question, but Donald Trump is getting hung up on the technicalities of law and can't shut up about it.


Back in the 1990's, when Donald Trump was just another Real Estate Magnate, he never met a member of the press that he didn't like. Trump's philosophy was 'all publicity is good publicity.' Donald Trump was everywhere, from the Oprah Winfrey Show, to the Howard Stern show, to cameos on beloved movies like Home Alone 2.


But some time in 1995 or 1996, according to E Jean Carroll herself, as a reporter for Elle Magazine, she caught his eye and flirted with him on a few occasions. When the two ran into each other at the Bergdorf Goodman department store, I want to state, on the record, that I believe E Jean Carroll's account of what happened, word for word.


They got a little frisky in the lingerie section, the two of them slipped into the department store dressing room, and 5 minutes later, the entire episode was over. She called it sexual assault, he said it never happened.


But here's where the he said/she said narrative goes a bit askew.



As the 2 willing participants entered the dressing room what were the expectations? No dressing room encounter lasts for an hour. Two consenting adults pulled back the curtain and...


Was she expecting a PG-13 encounter and got an R?

Did E Jean Carroll just want to give him a smooch and it turned into more?

Did E Jean Carroll just want to give him a "hand" and it turned into more?

Did E Jean Carroll just want to give him an "oral presentation" and it turned into more?

Did she get exactly what she wanted, but it wasn't fun or good?


Donald Trump did not drag a young, naive girl out of the alley and have his way with her. She was in her 50's.


Where am I going with this?


Most rape victims remember very specific facts about their rape:

What they were wearing.

The date.

The time.

Smells, like the cologne.


Not E Jean Carroll, she remembers it as short and gross. Literally. And that's it. She can't even recollect the time of the year of the assault.


Yes, I know, No Means No. Was she willing to give up certain items on the sexual menu, but he wanted different items? Feasible.


Back in 1995, I was a dirt-poor graduate student. If I went to the department store with my long hair, scruffy beard, sweatpants and shorts, you know who is treating me like I'm invisible? E Jean Carroll. When Trump walked by on that fateful day, what was Trump's most appealing characteristic? His looks or his $5,000 designer suit.


For E Jean Carroll to come back, almost 30 years after the fact, to say Trump "raped" her reeks of regret, not rape. But guess what? My opinion doesn't matter, Donald Trump was convicted in a court of law: "Judge Kaplan found that Trump did rape her as the term is understood "in common modern parlance."


If Grandpa Trump really doesn't remember E Jean Carroll because of all of the "quickies" he's ever had, maybe he shouldn't be president based off of, not his poor morals, but because of his cognitive decline.


Again, if Trump looks across the courtroom and can't imagine the defendant as a fifty-year-old, that is a brain issue. If he doesn't understand that every time he says he didn't rape her, after being convicted of raping her, he is slandering her, and that, too, is a brain issue. If he's so out of his mind that he continues to say "I didn't rape that old bat. That's disgusting." He just doesn't get the nuances of the law. WHICH IS A BRAIN ISSUE.


She has already won, in a court of law, twice.

So let's ask the question one more time for effect: Why won't E Jean Carroll go away? Because in her 80s, yes, she's in her 80s, she really, really doesn't want Donald Trump to be president.


Would you like me to make a list of things I want but don't get?


For two 80-year-olds to continually debate what happened for 5 minutes when they were both rich 50-year-old socialites should have no bearing on the 2024 Presidential Election.


None.


I'm 80. Me too. I like applesauce.







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