According to Rolling Stone Magazine, this is the Future of Music:
Faye Webster
Rolling Stone: "Humor with Hard to Pin Down Sound"
I Know You
Beacon of Speech: "Minimalist Elevator Music"
John Summit
Rolling Stone: "House Music Superstar"
Sweet Disposition
Beacon of Speech: "Derivative House"
Masicka
Rolling Stone: "Afrobeats, R & B, and more"
Most Wanted
Beacon of Speech "Minimalist Reggae"
Lola Brooke
Rolling Stone "Rapper"
You
Beacon of Speech: "Average Local Rapper"
The Last Dinner Party
Rolling Stone: "Pissing off the Right People"
Nothing Matters
Beacon of Speech: "Good for an indie rock band. Nice throwback to an 80's College Radio vibe."
MC Abdul
Rolling Stone: "Palestinian Rapper"
The Pen and The Sword
Beacon of Speech: "I don't know how to say this without coming off like a jerk. It's nice that there's pro-education rap, but wow, I don't know who's listening to this."
Jasiel Nunez
Rolling Stone: "Mexican Artist"
Lujo y Detalle
Beacon of Speech: "Generic rapping over generic Latin rhythms."
Ryan Castro
Rolling Stone: "Reggaeton"
Monastery
Beacon of Speech: "Seriously, I am about to scrap this whole article. Generic rapping over generic Reggae rhythms."
J Noa
Rolling Stone: "Dominican Rapper"
Autodidacta
Beacon of Speech: "I actually like J Noa. She's not smooth, her rapping is urgent with ever shifting beats. This is the first rapper on the list that I'd actually listen to again."
Omah Lay
Rolling Stone: "Afro Depression"
Holy Ghost
Beacon of Speech: "Great production value. But the song itself is more laid back vocals over classic world music beats."
Teezo Touchdown
Rolling Stone: "Genre Smashing Rap-Rock"
Impossible
Beacon of Speech: " Not genre-smashing. Sounded like he was rapping over the Silversun Pickups. Other songs? Average rapper."
Chappell Roan
Rolling Stone: "Pop Star"
Red Wine Supernova
Beacon of Speech: "Good pop music. We hate pop music."
Youngchimi
Rolling Stone: "Puerto Rican Rapper"
Grave Digger
Beacon of Speech: "More smooth, average rap."
Wyatt Flores
Rolling Stone: "Singer-Songwriter"
Please Don't Go
Beacon of Speech: "Flores is a very, very poor man's Bob Dylan. We hate Bob Dylan. This song is just... YUCK."
Black Sherif
Rolling Stone: "Ghanaian Musician"
Kwaku the Traveller
Beacon of Speech: "Uggh. Ghanaian rapping over mellow African beats. I'm sure Sharif is probably the best rapper in Ghana. Kids please point to Ghana on the map.
Editor's Note: We narrowed down your choices to the African Continent. You are welcome.
Peggy Gou
Rolling Stone: "DJ"
(It Goes Like) Nanana
Beacon of Speech: "Latin.....oh I give up."
None of this is any good. Other than the Last DInner Party or J Noa, I wouldn't consider giving any of the artists above a second listen, let alone any of my money. Let's skim the last few artists on Rolling Stone's list.
-Samia
Rolling Stone: "Indie Rock"
BOS - "Not listening to it."
-Saiko
Rolling Stone: "Reggaeton"
BOS - "Not listening to it."
-Young Nudy
Rolling Stone: "East Atlanta Hero"
BOS - "Not listening to it."
-Le Sserafim
Rolling Stone: "K-Pop"
BOS - "Definitely not listening to it."
-Scowl
Rolling Stone: "Hardcore"
Bloodhound
Beacon of Speech: "I really, really wanted to like Scowl, but it's average hardcore."
Young Miko
Rolling Stone: "Puerto Rican Star"
BOS - "Not listening to it."
Veeze
Rolling Stone: "Detroit Rapper"
BOS -"Not listening to it."
Mirror
Rolling Stone: "Hong Kong Boy Band"
BOS - "Definitely not listening to it."
Lizzie No
Rolling Stone: "Singer-Songwriter"
BOS - "Definitely not listening to it."
You know what's wrong with this list? About three-quarters of it you have to be highly impaired by drugs to enjoy. This list isn't for those "living the music," this list is for 20-somethings still living in their parents' basement getting baked on a daily basis.
You think I am judging young artists too harshly? Rolling Stone is trying very, very hard to be inclusive. Again, if the name of the magazine was World Music Digest and every other ad was for used sitars, no problems at all. But for 50 years, Rolling Stone tried to sell you that they were the "Rock and Roll Bible."
Review the list above again. How many "Rock" bands do you see? How many "Metal" bands do you see? How many "Punk" bands do you see? Hell, I love Miles Davis, where's the next "Jazz" virtuoso?
But there's rappers, yet even that is misleading. Where's the next Public Enemy? I see a list of Snoop Dogg impersonators. With the exception of J Noa, all of these young rappers would benefit from this generation's version of Terminator X.
Jack White should be next in line of Rolling Stone "Rock Gods," but instead they are over-compensating for past omissions under the guise of diversity. What's my specific beef with Rolling Stone? When I was young, they sucked because they focused on corporate artists. Now they're unbearable because they worship at the multicultural alter.
My musical Bible has always been Alternative Press-
Goddamnit, I need a palate cleanser
Unless Rolling Stone gloms onto something that the average American 18-34 year old loves, their woke streak will cause them to end up like Vice.
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