I'm not the biggest Richard Simmons fan, I thought he was funny on the David Letterman Show, I thought his workout videos were a bit trite, but I never sought him out. I never said "I wonder what Richard Simmons is up to?"
Then today I saw that Pauly Shore is playing Richard Simmons in an upcoming feature film. For some irrational reason, I was really mad. Whoever the production company putting that together, I hope Simmons sues their brains out.
Listen, I am not a litigious person. I've been sued a few times, but I don't think I've ever sued anyone. But if someone said Pauly Shore was playing me in the Beacon of Speech movie, I think I'd call a lawyer.
Let's back up a step. I'm not the best looking guy in the world. If you said Edward Norton was playing me in a movie, I'd be complimented. It might not be accurate, but I'd be flattered. In reality, I've had a few people tell me that I look and act a little like comedian Tom Green. When people said that, it was kind of a backhanded compliment, they insinuated I was annoying like Tom Green.
But here's the ruse, I love Tom Green. I think he's a funny guy. If he played me in a movie, I might question the producer's intent, but I would know that they did their homework. If the producers of the movie called me and said "Tom Green is playing Fred Hunt," I would respond, "yeah, that's probably about right."
Richard Simmons, though, is NOT down with Pauly Shore playing him. Richard Simmons just wants to be left alone.
That's not me speculating, here's Simmons' own words via Variety: “Hi Everybody! You may have heard they may be doing a movie about me with Pauly Shore. I have never given my permission for this movie. So don’t believe everything you read. I no longer have a manager, and I no longer have a publicist. I just try to live a quiet life and be peaceful. Thank you for all your love and support.”
And Simmons' public stance has been consistent for nearly a decade now. From 2017: "The success [of the Missing Richard Simmons Podcast] prompted some debate over the ethics of very publicly searching for someone who clearly doesn’t want to be found."
Let's be honest though, let's say someone like Paul Giamatti was playing Richard Simmons. Not only playing Simmons, but playing him with empathy and from an angle of inspiration. A character actor like Giamatti could pull off that performance.
But Pauly Shore? Watch this and decide if Simmons should call his lawyer.
You don't care about Richard Simmons? How about if Pauly Shore was the star of YOUR life story?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
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